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The odyssey Irish Drinking Song:

My tale is so sad and tragic,
Homer too must have been drunk,
It’s got cyclops, gods and magic,
Here it is a little shrunk.
The fighting days have gone by,
And the nights now will be long,
So let’s all gather round the table,
For an Irish drinking song.

I started off from the gold city
After the ten year war was done,
I got a boat and some sailors,
And headed towards the sun.

I straightaway found the lair,
Of the lotus eating cult.
They were a little strange,
But I didn’t want to insult.
I became a little stranger,
And a little drunk.
But I didn’t seem to care,
Till Athene saved me from the punks.
Everyone else had left me for sunk,
But, still I did escape no worse for wear.

We drink and drink and drink and drink,
And drink our nights away,
We ain’t got no reason,
Except for us so say,

But I still ain’t learnt my lesson,
And I made another pit stop.
This time it was a one eyed beast,
Tried to make me into chops.
I had his eye poked,
with a red hot iron poker.
Poseidon now loves me the least,
Nobody hates the beast.


The next island I stopped at,
I nearly became a pig.
Circe was a very pretty lady,
She didn’t seem like a witch.
I took her by the throat,
Before she tried the switch.
But when she said, she’d fallen
Promptly in love with me,
I decided to go figure,
And left travelling- briefly.


When I finally took to sailing home,
I got it figured out,
The sirens nearly killed me,
But I found a less painful route.
Then I headed to hades,
And met my old, dead pals.
And then I saw a prophet,
And got into a couple of brawls.


One was a sea monster
with really ugly teeth.
She had a liking for humans,
it wasn’t healthy.
She tried to grab me and to eat me,
but now I was used,
To women trying to kill me,
So now I knew what to do.


Calypso kept me on her island,
And At first I didn’t mind.
But she was really clingy,
And my wife was very kind.
She finally let me go,
Because of the gods.
(I clearly tell it better,
Than Percy and his lighting rod.)


After that when I got back home,
And everyone was wowed.
My wife must have asked how,
It took shorter to go than come?
I had a really long time,
To come up with a good answer.
But in the meantime,
I killed all of her suitors.


I crowned my son,
And retired all my day.
The war was won,
But for all my ways.
My kingdom ain’t got left a penny,
Except my wife Penelope.